12 December 2010
buddha and self
A few years ago I was lucky enough to visit NYC, and as short a trip as it was I had a blast. While there I went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art and was totally psyched to see the South Asian exhibit. Unfortunately I only got to spend a handful of minutes there, but what I saw was really intriguing.
I find myself missing that trip so much that I am constantly looking at the pictures I took there. I think I was a happier person back then, and during the trip to New York I was surrounded by people who had fun with me, and I was able to visit places I didn't think I'd ever visit. I haven't traveled much (in fact, I've never even left the country) and I think that's a big part of why I'm so interested in other cultures.
I've been feeling really strange lately. I've been thinking a lot about how my life has changed within the past year. I went through a really terrible time this time last year, and this spring I had to make a decision that was really hard. I was not happy at the school I was attending, and I didn't think I could take any more of it. I finally quit, but I've been in a deep depression since then. I wasted this summer, I wasted this fall, and soon I go to a new school and I am terrified. I miss being happier, I miss having less responsibility, and I wish I didn't have to decide what to do with my life right now. I wish I could go hide somewhere. I want to experience something new, but I feel like I'm stuck.